Not Another Teen Statistic
by twilightheaded23
Summary: 99% of high school students lose their virginity. At least that's what it seems like. Rated M for language/drama/lemons


**Entry for "The Cherry Exchange 2010"**

**Title: "Not Another Teen Statistic"**

**Penname: Twilightheaded23**

**Rating: M**

**Word Count: 11,618**

**Summary: 99% of all teenagers lose their virginities in high school. At least that's what it seems like. **

**Disclaimer: Although not specified, B/E are seniors in high school and are 18 at the time during said event. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. All things Twilight own me. I own a massive Edward Cullen fleece throw. **

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BPOV**

I sat on the tattered coffeehouse type couches in the big brightly colored room. On the walls were hand painted murals of characters and inspirational words that I knew by heart. The smell of donuts and coffee wafted over me that Sunday morning as the weak sunlight attempted to peek through the ever-present clouds outside.

I felt home here. Warm, safe, and loved by the God who I knew had complete control over my life because I gave it to Him.

The youth ministry at Forks Methodist Church was my home away from home. I couldn't always explain it, I just felt right there. I chose to believe the words that had been preached to me about love, right and wrong, turning the other cheek and the whole do unto others bit. I believed them because up until that point in my life I had no reason not to.

My father Charlie was chief of police of the tiny town and my mom, Renee, was a kindergarten teacher at the local elementary school. I grew up loved, feeling wanted, and secure.

I grew up in the church. I grew up listening to various old ladies teaching me the parables and making paper cut outs of crosses and Christmas trees. When I was old enough though, the summer before I started high school, I got to join the youth group. Pastor Black, who let us call him Billy making him that much cooler, preached to us about a loving and forgiving God, but related it to us with stories from his younger days and used movie clips that I would never think were relatable to God in any way, but he reached us through that.

The fact that Billy was filled with so much passion and belief after the accident that took his wife away and left him in a wheel chair, only served to make me believe him and his words even more. His son Jacob wasn't the typical tween either. He was never embarrassed by what his father had to say. He supported him every Sunday when he got up and talked in front of us.

Jake was the typical PK, or preacher's kid. He did community service, was an all-around athlete, super friendly and _so_ cute. I tried not to let myself have those thoughts while I was at church, but my friend Angela and I couldn't help but giggle after he said hi to us that morning.

Life was good, simple, black and white for me. Until they came along.

One was tall, with sandy curly-ish blond hair, easily the oldest. The next was slightly shorter with darker yet equally curly hair. He was buff, like he'd been growing in muscle and not height.

And the third… looked like he just worshipped the ground that first one walked on. He tried to imitate his stance, relaxed, hands in the pockets, but kept looking up at him to make sure he was doing it right. He was the youngest, looking about my age. His hair was a bronz-ish red and the pale blue collared shirt he was wearing looked like it was restraining him.

"Oh my stars…" Angela whispered wide-eyed behind a half-eaten glazed donut. I nodded right along.

They were clearly new to town.

Billy had gone over to them and they were shaking hands as introductions were made. There were only about forty of us, new kids were definitely going to stand out.

Angela conveniently chose the couch closest to the conversation for our seats that morning.

"…well I'm glad your parents decided to join our little congregation this morning. And you are?"

"I'm Jasper," the oldest said. "This is Emmett," he clapped the burly one's shoulder, "and this is Edward, the baby," he said good-naturedly.

"Shut up, Jazz!" Edward scoffed but it was clear he liked the attention from his older brother.

There was a bond that was evident between them. When I saw scenes like this I always wished that I had a sibling, but when my mom gave birth to me there were some complications and she couldn't have any more kids. She always told me it was God's way of saying that I just so special that they only needed one of me.

"Well I'm sure you'll meet everyone in no time, especially with school starting back up so soon. You're all going to the high school?"

"Yeah, I'll be a senior this year, Emmett is a sophomore and my little E-man is just starting out as a freshman."

So he was in my year, my interest peaked considerably.

"Well let me introduce you to a few people before we get started?"

I noticed Jasper and Edward nodded, friendly enough, but Emmett just shrugged and yawned and headed over to the table with the food.

"Uh, forgive him, he's not much a morning person," Jasper offered.

Pretty soon Jasper was standing with a group of seniors, Emmett was nodding off on one of the seats in the back and Edward flopped down on the couch next to me.

_Crap… do I say hi? Introduce myself? Ask him when he moved-_

"Hey, I'm Edward Cullen."

"Bella, Bella Swan"

"Well Bella-Bella," he smiled, "What's your story?"

"My story?"

"Yeah, your life, what's the deal?"

"Oh," I was thrown off by such an odd question right from the start. "I don't know if I have one yet."

"Everyone has a story."

"Then what's yours?"

"I just moved here from Chicago. My dad's a doctor and wanted to work in a small town. I grew up in the church there but still somehow miss sleeping in on Sundays. I'll be a freshman and I want to play on the baseball team," he said succinctly. "You go."

"I grew up here. My dad is the chief of police. My mom is a teacher. I've been coming to this church since I can remember and I love it here. I also want to join the school paper."

"So when I become the youngest captain of the baseball team you'll be the journalist who does a profile on me?"

I giggled, "Sure, why not?"

Just then Billy clapped his hands to get our attention, calling everyone together. We pulled away from the arms of our respective couches. I was unaware of how close we had been leaning, but I liked it.

His eyes were this pretty green color, kind and welcoming. I felt my telltale blush creep over my cheeks when I thought about more than just his eyes. His hair, his smile, those perfect teeth…

"Sex," Billy said directly from the front of the room. A titter ran through the group of kids.

"That's right, you heard me," he chuckled. "The Bible teaches us about family, politics, and guidelines for life in general, so why not sex?"

He definitely had everyone's attention now.

"You guys are getting to be, or already are that age where sex is constantly on your mind. It's on your TV's and in the books and magazines you read. It's even what you talk about at school. So I just wanted to throw in a bit of God's perspective on the whole thing. He _definitely_ has an opinion about it."

"Now, for those of you who pay attention, you know the Old Testament has some varying stories about marriage and the amount of wives a guy can have and all that jazz. But ultimately, _ultimately_, the message He's trying to send is about love.

"Love for that one special person who makes you feel alive. Call it your soul mate, destiny, fate… whatever. If God believes that you should wait for them, it means He _also_ believes that they are out there, tailor made just for you. And that they're worth waiting for.

"Now, I know I'm just some old guy who talks your ear off each Sunday morning so what do I know right? Well, not that many years ago fellas, I was right where most of are you are. Running around chasing tail, trying to figure out which girl was mostly likely to sleep with me at the Aerosmith concert."

A chuckle went through the room but I noticed Jake a few couches down was conveniently looking at the floor.

"So who am I to preach something I didn't believe in? Well I'll tell you, it all has to do with that person. When I met Sarah, I was young, stupid and fell head over heels for a woman who was clearly too good for me.

"Even now, I can't remember why she gave me the time of day," he smiled and shook his head. It wasn't often that Billy talked about his late wife, but it was always special when he did. The love he had, _still_ has, was evident in his voice.

"Sarah, she made me better. I wanted to be good enough for her, but our relationship wasn't perfect by any means. We fought, quite a bit actually. We pushed each other, wanting so much more for us that no matter what, we tried to put each other's needs before our own. Eventually we learned to communicate a little better.

"But my point is that Sarah and I waited. We waited until we got married to have sex, because for her, it was worth the wait," he eyed the guys in the room pointedly. "Maybe some of you are thinking you want to get a little practice in before you meet that someone, so that they don't think less of you if certain _things_ go awry, because I'll tell you right now, sex is not like it is in the movies. It's not pretty and definitely not perfect. Far from it. So you see, if you wait until you're in love, until you're married and tied to that person in every way, the imperfections don't matter!

"You're comfortable enough to laugh at those awkward moments and so in love that those tender moments just light you on fire. I can't describe what it's like for everyone, but I can promise you this, that for the right person it's worth the wait. I'm not saying it won't be hard to keep you and your hormones in check," he grinned, "but have a little faith."

I zoned off into my own thoughts as Billy continued to speak. On some level I thought I always knew I'd wait until I was married to have sex. It was just one of those instilled values or something. However, now that I'd heard Billy's thoughts on it, it was more than just a "I don't want to go to hell" thing. What he described was exactly what I wanted for myself, and I'm sure every other girl was thinking the same thing.

Who didn't want to feel loved and cherished for their first time? Plus, wasn't it supposed to hurt like crazy? I definitely wouldn't want some guy I barely knew to make me suffer while he got to feel super awesome.

I started to drift off into that fantasy that every girl has of the elusive _one_. I tried to envision what my soul mate would look like. Tall, built but not overly muscular, intelligent but could also make me laugh, green eyes, coppery hair…

_Whoa. Where the crap had that come from?_

I shook the forming image from my head as everyone bent their heads for the closing prayer.

"So, Bella. You believe in that?" Edward asked once the noise level had picked back up and everyone had started to socialize again.

"Yeah, I really do."

He grinned, "Me too."

"Really?" I sounded skeptical, after all, he was a guy and probably not into the flowers and romance of it all.

"Well, I've seen it first hand. My older brother Jasper?" he gestured across the room. "His girlfriend is still back in Chicago, but they've been going out for a while now. It's disgusting and he turns into a total chick around her, but he's never been so happy. It was hard for him to move here, but they're going to try the long distance thing."

"Wow, but he's still pretty young for all that, right?"

"That's what I think too, but he always says 'when you know, you know,'" he shrugged.

"Hey, Bells, who's your friend?" Jake had made his way over to where we were talking.

"Hey Jake! This is Edward Cullen, Edward this is Jacob, Billy's son."

The kind of stared at each other for a second before Jake reached out his hand.

"So, Edward, where are you fr…"

"Jake, buddy! We need to head out," Billy called from across the room.

He grunted in annoyance before he suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into a giant hug. "See you next week, Bells."

I was momentarily stunned. Jake had never even high-fived me before. Where had this come from?

"Um, bye Jake," I muffled into his shoulder.

He let me go and took off, leaving me staring after him. My crush had just given me a bone-crushing hug in front of the entire room. My palms were suddenly very sweaty.

"He your friend?" Edward asked, reminding me he was still there.

"Yeah, I mean mostly we just do church stuff together. He goes to school on the reservation not too far from here so I don't see him a lot during the week."

"Oh," he grinned and we picked up our conversation once more.

Edward and I continued to talk until our parents came by to pick us up. By then I discovered we had similar tastes in music and movies, and the same homeroom teacher.

The next day in homeroom, we found out we had almost every single class together. I found out Edward was smart, like really smart. In geometry, he just sort of put things together. He had already read at least half the books on our English list and was way better at Spanish than the rest of us.

I could feel my infatuation growing. He was funny, hot, smart, hot, got along with everyone, hot… oh, and hot.

Of course I wasn't the only one to take notice.

"Did you see the new guys?" I overheard.

"The older one, what's his name? Jasper? Such a hottie."

"Mmm I like Emmett," said an older girl in the lunch line. "He looks like a really good kisser."

"Did you hear he smokes? Rosalie saw him out back with Garrett already, on his first day!"

"I like them a little on the bad side," the other one giggled.

"That younger one is pretty cute. I bet he's a virgin too."

"His name is Edward, and he's really nice," I heard myself say.

_Oh crap. Oh shoot. If I swore this would be a good time to start!_

"Marking your territory already freshman?" the red head sneered.

"No, I just, I didn't mean-"

"We don't care," and with that she slapped my lunch tray onto the floor.

I was floored. Never in my life had I seen such cruelty. I felt the tears threatening to spill over. I tried to tell myself they weren't worth it. Turn the other cheek. So I did.

I ran from the cafeteria and burst into the hallway looking for the nearest bathroom. I was about to push open the door when a now familiar voice called my name.

"Hey! Bella, what's… are you ok?" Edward asked.

I sniffled and didn't turn to face him and just shook my head.

"What happened?"

I tried to wipe my eyes before I looked at him, but I knew it was a lost cause. "I um, there was these two girls, talking about you and your brothers. They sounded so mean, and I said something and…and…they knocked the food out of my hands."

Now that I had said it out loud it sounded a whole lot more pathetic. I was such a wimp.

"You…you stood up for me?"

I nodded. "Well I tried."

"Thanks?"

I couldn't help but crack a smile. "You're welcome?"

He pulled me into a hug then; much like Jake had done, and held me there. I tensed and then relaxed into his hold. "I mean it, thank you."

"Any time, Edward," I managed.

xx~xx~xx

Edward and I became inseparable after that. The "dynamic duo" was what our parents called us. I'm sure they thought we were dating and holy crap did I want to be, but Edward didn't feel the same way. I could tell.

But that definitely wasn't going to stop me from letting any of the other girls at school think otherwise. If they thought he was taken, I got to keep him all to myself.

We shared everything with each other. I wasn't afraid to cry in front of him, and it happened more than its fair share of times, but he had this incredible talent for cheering me up. He told me about when his parents fought. Emmett's latest antics that always landed him in trouble and everything in between.

That Christmas we volunteered at a shelter together and my already insane crush on him got even deeper. He loved helping out with church stuff as much as I did and it made me all warm inside when I saw him playing tag with the families' kids.

I was in deep, but I didn't care. I knew it would kill me when he smartened up and actually started dating someone but I couldn't bring myself to stop. For now, I was his best friend and that would have to do.

Jake, who was elbow deep in wrapping paper, waved at me from across the room and shook me out of my stupor. I waved back and he took that as a signal to come over and talk.

When he got closer I realized how much more he had grown. He was tall, like _really_ tall. His hair was growing out too, making him look older than his fifteen years.

"How's it going, Bells?"

I loved it when he called me that. I smiled brightly. "It's good! Just dividing up all the donated clothes and stuff for the kids. You ok over there? You haven't wrapped your own hand yet," I giggled and he laughed.

"Nah, I'm actually pretty good at it. My mom showed me how a while back," his voice got smaller toward the end. I knew the holidays were always harder on him and Billy.

I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to squeeze his hand. "Are you ok?"

He squeezed back looking where our palms met. "Yeah I'm good. Thanks though. Do you need any help with this stuff?" His eyes scanned the mountain of boxes still on the floor.

"That would be great actually. I can't exactly lift the bigger ones."

He made a show of flexing his growing muscles. "Well then by all means, step aside Miss!"

We worked side by side the next couple of hours talking and laughing about the differences between our schools and what Billy was like outside of church. He was so easy to talk to and I was slowly remembering why I used to have a crush on him.

I was laughing over his impression of one of his teachers when there was a throat clearing behind me.

"Bella? Um, my parents are here, to give us a ride back."

"Oh! Edward I'm sorry. I must have lost track of time," I said as I scrambled to finish putting things together.

"Bells, I got this. Don't want to keep them waiting," Jake offered.

"Thanks, Jake, you're the best!" I called while following Edward back outside.

We were walking toward Mr. Cullen's silver Volvo when Edward stopped to turn and face me.

"He likes you, you know."

"Who? Jake?" My heart did this weird sputtering thing.

"Yeah."

"Don't be stupid. We've just known each other since we were little."

"I'm not being stupid, Bella!"

"So what if he does then? Is that bad or something?"

"No, I just-"

"I mean, he's nice, funny, cute, why would it be so bad?"

"It's not! Ugh! Never mind, let's just go," he mumbled and stalked back toward the car.

The ride was tense and filled with awkward doctor stories from Edward's dad who was clearly trying to fill the silence.

xx~xx~xx

Things got even weirder the next few days. We would still talk and stuff, but I finally understood what my mom meant by the expression "the pink elephant in the room."

It was there. In the corner, just flapping its big ears and blowing through its trunk, but both of us chose to ignore it and force ourselves back to normalcy.

I hated it.

It wasn't until the following Saturday night when I was finishing up an English essay that he called me.

"Bella…something happened, it's not good. Huge fight with Jasper and my parents and I really don't want to be here. Can I come over?"

"Of course, you know where the key is, just let yourself in and come on up."

I heard the crash of his bike about twenty minutes later and then he was at my door, sopping wet.

"Crap! You're soaked! Don't move!"

He just nodded and shivered. I ran to my bathroom and grabbed some dry towels and chucked them at his face.

"Dry off. I'm going to see if I have anything you can wear."

I searched through my drawers and found something hopefully passable. Some old gray sweats and Forks High School t-shirt would have to do.

"Um they might be a little small, but it's the best I could do without waking my parents."

"It'ssss oookkk. Tttthanks."

"Thaw out first, and then we'll talk ok? Hot chocolate?"

He nodded again and began removing his shirt. I swallowed and turned away. "I'll be right back," I said quickly and left before I incriminated myself any further.

When I came back up with the two mugs full of piping hot liquid, Edward was sitting on my bed holding my stuffed animal Mr. Pig in my now really stretched out shirt and pants.

I couldn't hold back my laugh as I handed him his drink.

"Don't you dare tell anyone I wore these," he said before taking a big gulp.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I grinned.

It was his turn now, so I waited as he gathered himself to tell me what was going on.

"You know Jasper went to go visit Alice over Christmas right?"

I nodded.

"Well, apparently he proposed."

I choked on my drink.

"He what?"

"Yeah I know, but that's not all. He comes back home and tells my parents that she said yes and they're going to do it right after high school because they'll both be eighteen by then."

"No way! That's just-"

"Oh there's more."

"After they get married, he's going to enlist."

A chill went up my spine. "Like the army?"

"Yup."

"That's heavy."

"Well, my folks expected it eventually I think, but I think they thought he would go to West Point or something first."

I nodded absorbing all of this.

"Bella I don't want him to go," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Because… he'll get shipped off somewhere. What if he gets hurt? What if… what if… he doesn't come back?"

"You don't know that. That's what they train for. Months of learning all that stuff, so they can protect themselves."

"I know you're right, but I just can't stop thinking like this. Oh, and of course Emmett doesn't even care! He's asking when he can have Jasper's room!"

"That's just Emmett being Emmett. You know how he is."

"Yeah, but I figured the one time he _wouldn't_ be how he is, it would be now."

"So…are your parents going to let them marry?"

"They don't really have much of choice do they? They'll be eighteen and my mom would never miss one of her son's weddings," he shrugged.

"Wow," I mused.

"Bella, now it would be appropriate for a 'holy shit' or something."

I rolled my eyes but nodded.

Word spread fast through the tiny town that Jasper was engaged and everybody hoped for a Forks ceremony but they had agreed on Chicago. That's where they met, where they grew up and where they fell in love.

To be honest, I thought the whole thing was utterly romantic, especially since I got invited to go.

Edward asked me to go, sadly, not as his date, which he carefully clarified, but I was dying to go to a wedding and meet the famous Alice.

My parents agreed and a few weeks into summer I found myself sitting on the foot of Alice's bed watching her put on a petite lace veil.

"You look beautiful, Alice."

"Thanks, Bella!" she beamed.

"Are you nervous?"

"In a really really excited way? Yeah. In a 'making a huge mistake' way? Not at all."

"But you're only eighteen, how do you…how do you know he's it for you?"

It already felt like in the few short hours I'd known her that she was big sister and this was a natural topic for us to cover.

"I can't really explain it," she said thoughtfully. "But I can explain that when I'm near him, I feel warmer. He calms me down and excites me at the same time. One look from him, and I feel like I'm melting. Jasper always makes me laugh but knows when he needs to be serious with me too. It's like… a balance, a weird one that works especially for us, but a balance."

I nodded thinking over her words.

"You and Edward seem to have that balance," she quirked a perfectly tweezed eyebrow at me.

"Wha – me and Edward? Oh no. That's just, we're best friends. Nothing more."

"Mmhm," she said suggestively. "I've seen the way you guys are with each other. The way you look at him."

"Exactly. It's only me looking at him," I mumbled.

"Do me a favor, Bella? Don't give up on Edward. I've known him a while now and sometimes he just gets really in his head about stuff. Even at such a young age."

I honestly had no clue what she meant, but it seemed important to her. Alice turned from the mirror, "How do I look?"

She was the most beautiful bride I had ever seen. Well, my knowledge was limited, but I could just tell. Chic, classy and elegant. I felt my eyes sting with tears.

"You look amazing, Alice."

The ceremony was simple, but the meaning and love behind everything was overwhelming. I could see what Alice meant by their balance and what Edward said about them being perfect for each other. It may not have been my decision, but it was what was best for them.

At the end of the night I stood by Edward, who was looking ridiculously too good in a black suit, on the grand stairs leading down to a waiting limo to take them to the airport for their short honeymoon before Jasper began his training.

The joy radiated from friends and family and I felt so honored to be included in that moment.

I felt a warm hand slip into mine and I gasped at the contact. Our fingers intertwined and Edward squeezed them gently as the happy couple waved before climbing into the car.

My body leaned into his and my head moved of its own volition to rest on his shoulder. I looked up to watch his face and saw the shimmer of a tear sliding down his cheek.

xx~xx~xx

Nine months later, I found myself in the same position. My hand was grasping Edward's as tight as I could hold. I leaned against him, in another black suit and saw another tear slide down his face.

Except this was wrong. All of it was wrong.

Jovial faces did not surround us this time. There was no happy couple to wish off into the world.

There was a widow.

She shed tears, not from joy, but from the most soul-crushing sadness I had ever witnessed in my life.

There was a minister, not speaking words of love, but of a better place and a God who makes everything happen for a reason.

There was music, but there were no sweet words by Frank Sinatra or Etta James.

Men in uniform folded a flag. They handed it to Alice who doubled over in pain, collapsing in her chair as a sob wracked through her. I saw Mrs. Brandon cradle her only daughter like a child.

The tears flowed freely from my eyes, but I only saw that one from Edward.

xx~xx~xx

When the Cullen's found out that a rogue sniper had killed Jasper just two months after he was shipped off, I thought it would be the end of Edward. He freaked out, like really lost it at first. He destroyed his room, didn't eat for days, yelled at anyone who would talk to him.

He also started sneaking out and coming to my house at night. He just looked so destroyed I couldn't turn him away, getting grounded be damned. I would do anything I could for him. Edward claimed he could only sleep in my bed and he'd clutch my hadg in a vice grip until he fell into a fitful sleep.

I hated that a tiny part of me liked feeling so needed by him.

So after the funeral I guess part of me expected his clinginess to get worse. However, something changed.

There was a new coldness to his eyes that wasn't there before. His jaw remained clenched and his expression hardened into something brooding yet indifferent at the same time. Edward said all the right words when he needed to and functioned along, but he was lacking the Edward-ness I knew so well.

At school he swore like a sailor. He cut classes and basically started following in Emmett's footsteps. He would flirt with girls shamelessly and he started going to the "field parties" every weekend where everyone got drunk.

I didn't know what else to do except try and be his friend. We still got along and I knew he was still my best friend, but there was this distance that was growing between us.

What sealed the deal happened a few weeks later.

It was Sunday morning again and I sat next to a rather uncomfortable looking Edward on the same ratty couch we met on more than a year ago.

"…because God has a plan for each and every one of you. For he is a loving God and makes no mistakes,"

"Bullshit."

"Edward!" I hissed. _Not now, please not now, what is he thinking? _I had this eerie feeling like I knew this was coming. I knew he was struggling with basically everything he had ever believed in but I didn't know it was going to come out like this.

"Son, please don't use that kind of language in-"

"It doesn't matter does it? 'God'…" he air-quoted with his fingers and I knew this was going to be bad. "…doesn't give a shit about me! All the bad stuff happens to the people who don't deserve it, who have families…" his voice broke on the last word.

No one moved. I'm not sure if anyone was even breathing at this point. Billy looked calm, like he was expecting this.

"Edward, son-"

"No! Your _wife_ gets taken from you and you can just sit up there week after week talking about how God is fair? NONE of this is fair. You spout off about how He gave us free will to choose His love when it's really for when we wake up and realize that it's nothing! It's for nothing… just fucking nothing!"

I sucked in a sharp breath at his last words and watched him storm out of the room.

Billy got the room calm again and naturally we all said a prayer for Edward and his family. Instead of focusing on Billy's soothing words though, my thoughts drifted to his harsh words.

Was this all for nothing? Why did Jasper die and destroy such a happy family? Was that part of God's plan? I couldn't help but think it wasn't a very good one. His brother's death had destroyed my best friend.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't realize the service was over and almost everyone had cleared out. A warm hand patted my shoulder.

"Hey, Bells."

"Oh, hey Jake. Sorry, I guess I kind of got stuck in my head there for a minute."

"You've probably got some serious stuff to think about."

"He's… he's my best friend."

He nodded and brushed a silk strand of black hair behind his ear before holding out his hand to me. "Come on, let's get out of here."

One thirty-minute car ride later, Jake and I were walking along La Push beach. He told me about how he went through the same thing Edward was when his mom died. How he questioned everything, even at such a young age he couldn't understand why God would take his mom away. His dad, even at her funeral, always told him there was a reason for it.

"Now there may not be an exact reason, but I can pinpoint one good thing that came from all of it."

"Really?" I asked.

"My dad and my sisters and I are so much closer. It was a pretty lousy way for it to happen yeah, but I wouldn't change the dynamic we have with each other now for anything. Well, except maybe my mom coming back, but do you know what I mean?"

I chewed my lip thinking this over. "That something good will come out of this even though I don't see it now?"

He laughed. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

We walked a little bit farther in a comfortable silence.

"He likes you, you know."

"What?"

"Edward."

"Funny, he said the same thing about you," I clapped my hand over my mouth and face flushed bright red as I realized what I had just said.

He looked at me for a moment and then smiled. "So? He's right."

My throat went dry and I choked on my words. "He…uh…he's…what?"

"Bella…will you go out on a date with me?"

Jake took my hands in his and gave me the most hopeful, heart-clenching smile I'd ever seen.

"I'd love to, Jake."

xx~xx~xx

I giggled into the phone, "I love you too Jake, but I _have_ to go! My English essay is due in a couple of days!"

"Ok ok, baby. I hear you. I'll see you Friday. G'night."

I sighed, "Night."

Two years later, Jake and I were still going strong. He made me laugh. He made me happy. He made want to jump his bones all the time, but for some reason, he was able to keep things in check. Although I'm sure it didn't hurt that he was still the preacher's kid and he would definitely not be getting busy until marriage.

So instead we kept things at a "roving hands" kind of pace. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little frustrated, but we made a promise to ourselves and to God to wait.

With a little smile on my face from the promise of our date that Friday night, I dove into _A Midsummer Night's Dream_.

I was deep into analyzing Helena when two things happened at once. My phone buzzed with a new text and there was a rap at my window. I gave a little squeak and promptly tumbled out of my chair.

I heard a low rumble of laughter from outside my window.

I scowled at the dark figure crouched on the branch closest to my room. I picked myself up and threw open the window.

"Good lord Edward! I've told you time and time again to give me some warning before you just do that."

I could see his smirk even in the darkness. "Just let me in, Bella."

I huffed but moved out of his way to retrieve my phone as he climbed through.

**I know you're working hard baby. Just wanted to say I love you before I went to sleep. – J.**

My face warmed at the sweet gesture.

"Lover prude?" Edward asked, using his favorite nickname.

"You know his name."

He shrugged and raked his hands through his hair. "You sleeping soon?"

"Yeah, I'm where I wanted to get with this paper anyway." I searched through a drawer and pulled out the same sweats he borrowed almost four years ago and turned away when he tugged them on. They had stretched out enough to almost fit him now.

"Jake still doesn't know about this?"

Edward was clearly referring to the fact that he would sleep in my bed a couple of nights a month, usually on days when something reminded him particularly of Jasper or if he was just having a bad day in general. Call it cheating, call it an unhealthy addiction, but I couldn't say no to him. I would always care for him and do anything I could when he needed me. If that meant potentially jeopardizing my relationship with Jake, so be it. I would never tell and I knew Edward wouldn't either.

I shook my head. "Of course not. No one does. And I'm sure you wouldn't want your 'cool friends' to know you crash here every now and then either."

I got a severe eye roll with that comment. "Whatever, Bella. You know we're friends. Just friends with different lives."

Different lives was quite an understatement. As time passed after Jasper's death Edward and I grew apart in nearly every sense of the word. I spent most of my time with Angela and her boyfriend Ben or down on the reservation with Jake and his friends. Edward spent his time being the "elusive loner" type that the skanks fawned all over. I don't know why he even bothered with the people that he was supposedly friends with or the girls he hooked up with.

Oh yes, long gone were the days of Edward's sexual ideals, or so I had heard. We never talked about it, but it was little hard to ignore the slutty ramblings of Jessica Stanley and how huge Edward's penis was.

Yet, no matter how much we drifted apart, there seemed to be this one string of hope or friendship or whatever it was that held us together. I was there for him and he was there for me, simple as that. This unspoken understanding is what led Edward to my window when his nightmares first started.

He told me he slept well here. He didn't know why and I wasn't going to press. The first couple of times it was weird. I had never had Jake in my bed, let alone a guy who wasn't my boyfriend, but he was a perfect gentleman and barely even snored.

I was a horrible person for thinking it but I found myself hoping he would have one of his bad days just so I could spend some time with him. I grew addicted to his smell and the way his body was so warm next to mine. My mind even wandered to some not-so-pure places with Edward's hands and lips in mind but I chalked that up to my frustrations with Jake.

We were in love. I didn't understand why he kept insisting on waiting. As long as were safe, no one would ever know.

I shut those thoughts off and climbed in next to Edward who had already made himself quite comfortable.

"So you bringing lover prude to prom in a couple of weeks?" he mumbled.

"Mmhm. He got his tux and everything. You taking that new girl you're banging this week? Lauren what's-her-face?"

"Mallory. You know her name Bella there's less than five hundred kids in our school."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you?"

"Probably not. Not even sure if I'm going really."

"Edward…you have to go. Prom is an important rite of passage."

"Yeah, yeah. Save it Suzie High School. Now hush, I came here for sleep, not your chastising."

His breaths evened out to a steady pace and I drifted off soon after, lulled to sleep by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Edward slipped out of my room without even waking me the next morning. I was always sad when he didn't say goodbye. So when I felt the still warm sheets under my hand, I sighed and rolled back over to his side of the bed, deeply breathing him in.

xx~xx~xx

Turns out, I didn't make it to my prom either.

About a week before the big night, I went over to Jake's house to show him the color of my dress so he could get the right kind of corsage. I didn't even bother knocking or anything, I was so familiar with his house and family at this point.

I made my way down the narrow hallway to his room when I heard something crash.

"Ohmigod! Jake are you ok?" I yelled and swung open his door.

Oh he was fine. More than fine. Jake was fine because he was butt-ass naked pounding into none other than Leah Clearwater, one of the girls he went to school with on the reservation.

I saw red and everything slowed down. The rage boiled inside like nothing I had ever felt before and I could feel the tremors rocking through my body.

"Oh FUCK THIS!" I heard a foreign sounding, seething voice say, shocked to realize it was my own. Years of repressed frustration sprung forth as his betrayal sank into me. "You are nothing but a worthless, fucking hypocrite Jacob Black! We are DONE."

There would be no excuses. I would not listen to what he had to say, if there was anything. I sure as shit wasn't going to mope around and think about how much I missed him.

Well, that was lie. There were tears, ice cream, more tears, action movies with no love story, romantic movies that only made me cry harder and so forth. However all of that remained in the confines of my room. At school I was calm, collected, and stoic even, but there was still no way I could show my face at prom without a date.

I didn't even tell anyone except for Angela because I knew she would keep my secret.

So when I got her text the night of prom that said, "Come to the after party at Tyler's. You need some fun! Let loose woman!" I decided a little fun was exactly what I needed.

I wasn't going to be prom fancy, but I was going to look good dammit. I had this sudden urge to be this completely different person. It felt like I had been trapping myself in the cage of naivety where I tried to be good all the time, doing everything right and what was expected of me.

Well no fucking more.

My tightest pair of jeans, the one pair of black pumps I owned and a crimson blouse with some serious makeup and a stolen bottle of my mom's whiskey and I was ready to go.

A couple of hours later I was having the time of my life. Whoever said drinking was a bad thing was seriously mistaken. Everything was funnier; I was funnier and felt more like myself than I had in a really long time. Gone were the restrictions of Jake and our God-fearing ways as a couple. This was me. This was fun.

"Bella!" a hand wrapped around my arm and jerked me away from my dancing buddies.

"Edward!" I squealed and jumped into his arms nearly knocking both of us over.

"Jesus Christ… are you, are you drunk?" he eyed the severely diminished bottle in my clutches.

"Umm I think so?"

He shook his head and laughed. "Yeah, I'd say so."

I felt him pull me aside to what I think was an empty guest room and I flopped down on the bed suddenly very tired.

"Bella, what the hell is going on?"

"It's prom and I'm drunk. Fuck you."

Swearing was coming so easily now and it was fun. For so long I had avoided it thinking it was offensive and against my religion, but holy shit it felt so cathartic to just not care any more.

"Fuck me?" he laughed again. "Seriously Bella. You don't show up to prom, let alone with that gorilla. You're here wasted… what happened?" He sat down next to me and I gracefully took another burning swig from the bottle.

"Jake cheated on me," I sighed and took another burning swig of the amber liquid.

"Oooookay I think you've had enough of the happy juice," he attempted to take the bottle of fun away and I growled.

"No! The last thing I need is for someone else to tell me what to do! Apparently I don't decide anything for myself anymore. My parents boss me around but I just accepted that. Church has pretty much dictated my behavior for my entire fucking life. I let Jake boss decide whether or not we fooled around even though I wanted to and he was too much of a girl to do anything about it," I snorted. "Well, now I know the real reason behind that, but do you get what mean?"

He was saying something, I think, but the words were fuzzy so I just looked at his face instead. His beautiful face with his sexy eyes and full lips. Why did I ever decide to go out with Jake? Why didn't I ask Edward out? At least then I would have known. At least then I _might_ have known what it would be like to –

"Kiss me," I heard myself say.

He gave me a huge "what the fuck" face. "Kiss me," my confidence grew. I wanted this. I had always wanted this, wanted him.

Now was my chance.

**

* * *

EPOV**

_Kiss me? Did she just say that? Oh fuck, oh fuck oh shit._

"Bella, I don't think, not that I don't want to but-"

Then her lips were on mine. She tasted like chocolate and whiskey and her lips were so goddamn soft. I groaned embarrassingly loud when I felt her tongue sweep across my bottom lip and like I was possessed or something, I felt myself crush her body against mine, her soft perfect tits pressing against my chest.

_Who needs to believe in a heaven when there's this?_

For so long I harbored my feelings for Bella away and watched her waste all that time with that asshole, but I knew I wasn't good enough for her. She needed someone who's light matched hers, and since my brother died I had stayed in the dark. Away from Bella and away from her perfect taste… hair… tongue… _hands!_

_Hands in new places!_

I was hard as steel by this point just from making out with this girl, when her hand brushed over my cock. Something snapped inside my brain.

This wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be like this. My dick yelled at my brain to shut the fuck up and get on with it.

_NO.  
_

I fought against nearly every fiber in my body to pull away from her.

"Bella, wait, we can't," her lips sucked on my earlobe and I felt a shiver course through me as her lips traveled down my jaw. My resolve was quickly fading. "Stop, Bella. I'm serious, you're wasted and-"

"Oh shit," she pulled away her eyes suddenly vacant and glassy.

I knew that look.

"Fuck, come on!"

I hauled her ass into the adjoining bathroom and plopped her in front of the toilet just in time to witness the most stellar display of drunken puking I had ever witnessed. I waited a little while to make sure she was finished and then carried her back to the bed.

"Mmbfhthanks," she mumbled and promptly passed out.

I could have gone back to the party. I could have lost my virginity tonight like some bad teenage cliché. Though the girl would have no idea she would be taking my v-card. I was Edward "fucking" Cullen after all, thanks to the god-forsaken rumor mill at our high school; granted, I never did correct anyone.

Of all the things that had to stick with me, it was the whole "waiting until marriage" thing. Well, I had slightly modified it to being in love, but still. Jasper was wrong about a lot of things I realized over time, but the one thing I knew he was right about was waiting for the right girl. I had seen how happy it made him when he returned after his honeymoon saying it was completely worth the wait. And I believed him, whole-heatedly.

So instead of choosing to be a statistic that future sex-ed classes of America would study in the years to come, I chose to stay by Bella's side, watching her sleep. It was nothing new for us, but this time it felt different. She was single now, she wanted me enough to a certain drunken degree, and Emmett always said, "A drunk man says what a sober one thinks."

The flame of hope that I thought had died out long ago for Bella and me, burned bright inside my chest once again.

xx~xx~xx

I was in one of those coma-type deep sleeps when I thought I heard an animal in pain. I grumbled for the damn thing to shut the fuck up. When I got punched in the shoulder, I nearly fell off the bed in surprise.

"What – what the fu…" my voice was thick with sleep as I tried to get my bearings. Generic room. Not my room. Not my house. Prom. Prom after party… Bella.

"Don't call me a 'dying cat' Edward!" she groaned and rubbed her temples. "I'm in _serious_ pain over here," she wailed again and threw herself back down into the pillows.

"Well that's what you get when you knock back damn near a fifth of whiskey."

"Ughh, please don't say that word and just find me some freaking aspirin or something."

First hangovers were a bitch so I humored her and got up to go rummage through the bathroom. "Start drinking that Gatorade next you," I told her with my head buried in one of the cabinets. "Looks like you're in luck, Little Miss Alcoholic."

I walked back out and tossed her the bottle of white pills. She greedily took two of them and chugged half the Gatorade.

I waited for her to say something, because all I could think about was the fact that she was half naked in front of me and had yet to realize it. She must have chucked her shirt of in the middle of the night and my eyes locked down on her blue lace-covered tits. Bella caught me staring and promptly pulled the sheet up around her torso to cover herself.

"Um," she started and fidgeted with the orange cap between her fingers. "Didwehavesexlastnight?"

"No," _I sure as fuck wanted to because you are the most amazing person I know. And you're fucking hot._ "I couldn't do that to a virginal princess like you." _Even though technically I'm still virgin myself but she has no fucking clue._

I saw the anger flare in her eyes at the princess comment and expected a verbal lashing, but instead her shoulders slumped and said, "Oh."

_Holy fuck, had she wanted to?_

My hands immediately started yanking at my hair as I tried to process the tiny little word that seemed to say so much.

"Yeah, well, you just deserve a lot fucking better than losing your virginity on prom night, ok? Come on, get dressed and I'll take you home. You can come back and get your truck later."

Her mouth opened and closed a few times. "I, uh, well do you mind if I hang at your place for today? I feel like my dad will have this like, eighth sense or something about underage drinking and I so don't need to get yelled at for that today."

"Yeah that's fine. My parents left for Chicago this morning anyway so you won't have to worry about smelling like a distillery in front of them," I grinned and she chucked a pillow at my head.

I turned away while she scrambled for her shirt. "Today? But graduation is next week…"

"They'll be back in time for it," I shrugged.

We crept through the house, nearly tripping over several sleeping bodies on our way to the door.

"Must have been some party…" I mused.

"You didn't go back to it after I passed out?"

"Nah, I wanted to make sure you were ok. First time with the booze and everything," I said as I opened my car door for her. She smiled and shook her head before climbing in.

One McDonalds drive-thru run later, because Bella was suddenly ravenous for greasy food, which was a good sign for her hangover so I even let her eat it in my spotless car, we pulled up to my house.

"Movie?" I asked.

"Definitely, do you mind if I use your shower first? I feel disgusting."

The room got really warm as I pictured a wet, very very naked Bella in my shower. I cleared my throat and grabbed some of my sweats and a t-shirt for her to wear. "Uhh, yeah. Sure. Just uh, ignore the mess in there. You can wear these after."

"Thanks, I won't take long."

The next ten minutes were the sweetest torture I had ever known. I could hear the water running and my mind was running rampant with wet, naked Bella fantasies. When the water shut off I quickly grabbed a pillow to cover my straining hard-on.

Bella walked out in my clothes and I tried to suppress my groan with a not-so-subtle cough. Her hair was damp and she smelled like some heady combination of our two scents.

"So, what are we watching?" she asked like everything was normal. Like she didn't look damn fucking fine in my clothes. Like it wasn't taking every bit of my self-control not to pounce on her and kiss her and tell her how I had loved her for the last four years.

"Your choice," I managed to squeak out in really manly way.

She perused my movies and pulled out _Carrie_.

"Again?"

"Hey, I need vicarious prom-living. And you don't have 'She's All That'," she shrugged, put it in the DVD player, and then climbed in next to me, propping the pillows to her exact liking.

The few times Bella and I had hung out at my house we always ended up watching a movie in my bed and she always ended up falling asleep. About an hour into it when her breaths were becoming steady, I started to rub tiny circles on her shoulder until she stirred.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"What was prom like?"

"There was a serious lack of pig's blood."

I could actually feel her eyes rolling at me. "You know what I mean, was it nice?"

I shrugged. "It was ok. I honestly didn't stay that long."

"But you were at the party after…?"

"Yeah, but I left prom early and went back for the party."

"Oh…why?"

"Why to what?"

"Why'd you leave early?"

"Because it was fucking boring," is what I should have said. "Because you weren't there," was what popped out instead. I grimaced and squeezed my eyes shut willing myself to go back in time.

"You…you left because I wasn't there?"

_Fuck you, time-space continuum._

I nodded.

"So why'd you come to the party?"

"Angela told me you were going to show."

_Seriously mouth? Are you fucking detached from my brain right now?_

Bella sat up and faced me just then and I chanced a look at her face from the corner of my eye. She didn't look mad, this was good, but she looked confused…this may not be good.

"I don't understand…you didn't stay at prom because I wasn't there, but you came to the party because you heard I would be there. But then when I fucking throw myself at you, you turn me down. Granted, I almost puked on you, but that's beside the point. So explain, explain to me why? Why you've been sneaking into my room for years. Why you practically ignore me at school but made fun of Jake all the time. Why? Why!"

Her tiny fingers prodded me in the chest with each question. I couldn't… not anymore… I had to…

"Because I love you, ok!" I shouted.

She froze and pulled back from me like I had burned her. "What?" she whispered.

My heart pounded out of my chest. I thought I was going to be sick, but then I felt her hand gently pull my mine from my hair.

"Say it again."

"I love you, Bella." I whispered. "I always have."

She gave me a shit-eating grin, but then pursed her lips once more. "So why did we stop last night?"

"I wasn't kidding when I said you deserve better than some drunken prom night for your first time. You should be married and in love like you always wanted."

Bella shrugged and fiddled with the corner of the pillow she was holding. "The marriage part is negotiable… the love, well…I am."

I did _not_ need to hear about how she was still in love with Jake, not when I just bared my soul to her and-

"With you, Edward," she giggled. "In case that wasn't clear. I've had a crush on you since the day we met," she looked down, talking faster and faster. Maybe it was easier for her to say when she didn't have to look me in the eye so I just waited for her to keep going trying to absorb the enormity of what this meant. "And I thought, I hoped… then Jasper, and then the whole Jake thing. And…" I heard her voice break.

I couldn't take it anymore. If everything she was saying was true… _mine._ I leaned forward and pulled her to face to mine, sandwiching her head between my hands so she couldn't move I kissed her with all I had and the sparks that were there last night fucking exploded this time.

Four years of pent up emotion, sexual frustration and love ripped through our bodies. Before I knew it we were a mess of tangled limbs, exploring hands and lips. She giggled when my shirt got stuck going over my head and I couldn't help but laugh when she struggled with her own damn bra. I would take time to notice it later, for now, Bella's tits were finally in my face and I attacked them with my hands, lips, tongue, teeth. Bella let out this whimper that could only be described as desperate.

This was going to happen. With her. With my Bella. A flash of panic rushed through me and I realized she had to know…

"Bella… wait, stop," I said just has her hands found the waistband of my pants.

"Ugh!" she let out a frustrated grunt and flopped back down on the bed. "What now? I thought… is this not ok?"

"What? Oh fuck, Bella no, this is, well a little beyond perfect. You just… I need to, uh. Shit."

"What, Edward? This whole us being in love thing, you can tell me stuff you know…"

"I haven't, this is…last night would have been my first time too," I rushed out in one breath.

Realization dawned on her face and her eyes narrowed, looking at me skeptically. "Are you trying to tell me that you, Edward 'fucking' Cullen are still a virgin?"

My lack of response told her everything she needed to know about my complete lie of a nickname.

"What the fuck? Jessica Stanley went on and on about your dick for days, saying what mad skills you have."

"She sucked me off and I went down on her," I smirked. "I do have some 'mad skills' when it comes to that."

Bella looked away and her skin flushed the deepest red I'd ever seen it.

"I'm glad I've waited though," I said and brushed a piece a hair behind her shoulder.

"Really? Because I kind of feel like a freak when I hear all my friends talking about it," she snorted.

"Well yeah, that part kind of sucks, but there's a reason I waited." Bella waited for me to continue.

"You know how Jasper," I swallowed my emotion after his saying his name; it would never get easier to talk about him. "He uh, he always said it would be worth the wait."

"I remember you telling me that on the first day we met actually," she gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand. Bella knew this was hard for me to talk about. She always knew.

"Well, when I saw him after the wedding and honeymoon and all that he said it was still the best decision he ever made. That being in love made all the difference. Nothing could compare to sharing it with someone you love," I trailed off and tried blinking back the traitorous tears that always threatened to fall when I thought about my brother.

Her warm little hands pulled me to her as she wrapped me in a tight hug. I couldn't resist breathing her in as I cupped my hand to the back of her head, trying to keep her there. The hugging turned to more curious hands. I couldn't stop myself from exploring her body. So when she scooted back down under me giving me this "touch me" grin, I fucking ravished the girl.

Lips and fingers were everywhere as we acquainted ourselves with each other's bodies. Stroking, kissing, nibbling, exploring until we were both naked and panting. I traced my hands over her delicate curves and she raked her nails down my chest. I swore and circled one of her nipples with my tongue and she pushed her chest into my face.

"Baby," I murmured against the soft flesh of her hips as my fingers slid down to tease the spot between her legs. "I want to make you cum…before, because from what I know, it's going to hurt."

"Yeah, I'd caught wind of that," she giggled and ran her fingers through my hair. I kissed lower and lower until I met her eyes, making sure she looked on while I took my first taste.

I grunted when I registered her taste and quickly buried myself between her legs.

"Holy _fuck_!" Her hips bucked wildly as her thighs tightened around my shoulders. Bella's arousal was so warm and wet against my lips. My tongue swirled and licked wanting to absorb everything she was giving me. She was so responsive that I could feel everything. I could feel her clit throbbing under my tongue. When I slid two fingers inside, I could feel her tense, relax and then start tightening again.

"Edw…fuck, don't stop! Please…" she was gasping by this point and I knew she was close. I sucked her clit hard and curled my fingers inside her gently. Her entire body froze as she sucked in a deep breath.

"Shit, oh my _God_," Bella whined and her back arched beneath me. I felt her walls clamp down around my fingers and I couldn't help but groan at the feeling knowing that would be around my cock soon.

Her death grip slowly released from around my shoulders as she came down.

"Holy hell, Edward…" her skin was flushed and her eyes were glassy as I peered down on her. "That was, well, just holy fuck," she grinned.

We kissed again, and I thought it was awesome that she didn't ask me to go brush my teeth or anything. I wanted all of it, the tastes and smells and the naturalness of us together.

"You're sure?" I asked one more time and she nodded.

I reached for one of my strategically placed condoms that I'd just kept around for appearances. I hissed when she reached for me to help roll it on. Fuck, if just the touch of her hand did that…

I positioned myself above her and kissed her with everything I felt as I felt myself graze against her wetness. A shudder ripped through me from that alone. I wasn't going to last long, but fuck I would try.

I pulled back just far enough to watch her face as I began to push in.

"Just go slow?" she whispered and I nodded restraining myself with a power I had no idea I possessed.

_Warm, tight, wet. So fucking warm. Holy mother of fucking Buddha. _

Her breathing had shortened and I could tell I was stretching her.

"Stop," I froze at the words and began to pull out. "No! I just meant give me a second?" I nodded and didn't move. "Ok…now."

I pushed my hips forward at the achingly slow pace once again but this time I felt it. Her entire body tensed when I nudged her barrier.

"Keep going?" _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes._

"Yes, just do it," I could see her bracing herself.

I pushed forward a little quicker this time and knew when I had gone through because she sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, hissing and swore. When I saw a couple of tears run down her face I began to panic.

"Bella, fuck baby, are you ok?" I was too scared to move.

She huffed and swallowed. "Just don't move again. Give me a second…"

I nodded and tried to focus on her and how she was feeling instead of how fucking awesome it felt to be inside her. It was so amazing and perfect for me and my girl was in pain. It didn't exactly seem fair.

"I'm ok…" she nodded and reached up to brush a hair out of my face. "I promise."

I bent to kiss her and began to slowly rock inside her. After a few more hisses, tears, and profanities on her part, I felt her shift and meet my hips as I thrust forward.

"Bella, this is… you feel so incredible." She moved again and I nearly lost it. I was so close and I knew I there was no way I was going to make it.

I let my lips and tongue sweep across her skin and her hands ran down my back. I was a shivering mess above her.

"I can't… I'm not going to," I shook my head.

She responded by biting my neck and digging her nails into my ass as she brought me deeper inside.

I twitched and groaned her name as I exploded inside her. It was the most incredible feeling I'd ever had. It was done, over with, that was that…and it was fucking perfect.

I knew I'd have to wait a little bit before we tried that again, but next time would be better. The time after that would be even better and before I started getting hard again at those thoughts I pulled out and she gritted her teeth again. I couldn't stop touching her though. Bella had this afterglow going on that I'm sure my face mirrored and I cradled her to me as we grinned and kissed like idiots.

"I'm going to uh… go clean up," she blushed.

I cupped her face. "Don't you fucking be embarrassed about that," I grinned. "But I do have some ibuprofen in there if uh… you're so inclined."

Bella giggled and kissed my nose. "Thanks, Edward."

While she was doing whatever needed to be done in there, I thought about how it took us so long to finally get here. I didn't care if it made me a giant pussy for admitting it, but I was so glad she was my first and I was hers.

She opened the door and stood naked before me. My whole body reacted in the best way possible. My chest tightened with the nearly overwhelming love I had for her. I felt a grin spread across my face as I drank her in, and my cock was practically tapping his foot in impatience to get back inside her again.

"Get back in here beautiful."

She smiled softly shaking her head at me as she climbed back into the bed and draped herself across me. I ran my fingers through her hair and she practically started purring in my arms.

"How do you feel?"

"Mmm, I feel so relaxed, but still kind of buzzing. Does that make sense?"

I nodded. "Definitely." I slid down in the bed to face her and brushed my thumb across her cheek. I never understood what guys meant about smelling like sex, but then I knew. Bella smelled like me, her, and sex and I drank it in before I kissed her softly. She smiled against my lips.

"Are you pissed we just became _the_ teenage cliché?" she giggled.

I laughed hard… this girl owned me.

"Technically," I kissed her nose, then her eyes. "We waited until the day after prom. And there is nothing," I traced my tongue down her neck and loved how she shivered under me. "_Nothing_, cliché about us."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to know what you thought :)**


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